Gina Jibber-Jabber: Outrageous Celebrity Baby Names!

Hollywood's royal baby has arrived!

On Saturday, June 15, Kim Kardashian and baby daddy, Kanye West, stopped the presses (heh) and brought into the world, a baby girl. Like a true Kardashian with theatrics aplenty, baby Kimye made her grand entrance 5 weeks early but, fortunately, is said to be doing well. Though the real controversy thrust upon this future paparazzi princess is not because of her dramatic delivery, but the unusual moniker she's been so graciously "blessed" with. North West.

OMG, people are gonna be sooo pissed, LOL!

While it isn't quite what we were expecting (no "K" name?) and it's already managed a universal eye roll, you guys, it could have been so much worse. In honor of baby North West and her, uhm, unique name, I have compiled a list of my favorite crazy celebrity baby names sure to make you want to dropkick their parents in their perfectly primped faces. Seriously, WTF were they thinking?!

Gina's Favorite Deliciously Demented Celebrity Baby Names Of All Time

1. Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (boy)
Parents: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Apparently, this name stems from a song lyric by the band, Grandaddy. ‘He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot'. If Jason Lee is a music buff, not only could this kid's name have been way more epic (I mean out of the billions of songs out there, really?), it could've come from a lyric that doesn't describe him as simple and dumb. Thanks, dad! You douche.

2 . Audio Science Clayton (boy)
Parents: Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton

W...TF. Is this a college course or a kid? Here's what Sossamon, best known for her role opposite Heath Ledger in "A Knight's Tale", had to say about her son's awkward name.

"We wanted a word not a name, so my boyfriend read through the dictionary three or four times. We were going to call him Science, but thought it might get shortened to Sci, as in Simon."

...I prefer Simon.

3. Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa (girl)
Dweezil Zappa (boy)
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa (boy)
Moon Unit Zappa (girl)
Parents: Frank Zappa and Gail Zappa

And he reasons as only Frank Zappa would. If it weren't for the fact that he's friggin' legendary, I personally, wouldn't be so forgiving of the name "Diva Thin Muffin". Not that the late, great Frank Zappa would care because Frank Zappa doesn't have to care about jack sh** because he's Frank-F***in'-Zappa.

"I knew that they were going to be unique anyway because of certain other attributes, so why not have a name that goes with it. They all like their names and the kids at school do too. They don’t make fun of them; in fact, most of them are jealous of their names. You know, it always amazes me when someone who is in my age group, or even younger, asks me a question like why did you name your children that. It’s a reactionary kind of question. Why the f*ck not name your kids something like that? They’re having a good time. Besides that, if they ever wanted to change their names they can do it. It only costs about $15."

4. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence (girl)
Parents: Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson

When I caught wind that the lovely Uma Thurman boarded the crazy baby name train, I shook my head in disappointment. Uma, you're better than this! Individually, I think these names are quite beautiful but it's like she didn't think she was going to have anymore kids and so she threw in every name she ever liked EVER in case she wouldn't get to use them later. Well, thanks to Thurman's other spawnling, Maya, that's kind of exactly what happened.

“Maya came up with the best excuse, [which] was that I probably wouldn’t get to have any more children, so I just put every name that I liked into [the baby's].”

...And swish, point 1 to Gina.

5. Fifi Trixibelle (girl)
Peaches Honeyblossom (girl)
Little Pixie (girl)
Parents: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates

I just... I can't even...

The Best (or worst) of the Rest

Rainbow Aurora- Holly Madison/Pasquale Rotella
Amadeus Benedict Edley Luis- Lilly Kressenberg/Boris Becker (You're being obnoxious. Stop it.)
Camera- Arthur Ashe/Jeanne Moutoussamy-Ashe
Seven Sirius- Erykah Badu/Andre 3000
Kal-el- Nicolas Cage/Alice Kim
Moroccan Scott & Monroe- Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon (Those two together... still weird for me)
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily- Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates
Hud & Spec Wildhorse- John Cougar Mellencamp/Elaine Irwin
Buddy Bear Maurice, Petal Blossom, Poppy Honey & Daisy Boo- Jamie Oliver/Jools Oliver (Are you f***in' kidding me?)
Zuma Nesta Rock- Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale
Princess Tiaamii- Katie Price/Peter Andre
Pirate- Jonathan Davis/former porn star Deven
Banjo Patrick- Rachel Griffiths/Andrew Taylor (Why are we naming our kids after objects?!)
Sparrow James Midnight- Nicole Richie/Joel Madden
Bronx Mowgli- Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz
Ocean, Sonnet & True- Forest Whitaker/Keisha Nash Whitaker (Barf)