Outrageous Celebrity Baby Names!

Hollywood's royal baby has arrived!

On Saturday, June 15, Kim Kardashian and baby daddy, Kanye West, stopped the presses (heh) and brought into the world, a baby girl. Like a true Kardashian with theatrics aplenty, baby Kimye made her grand entrance 5 weeks early but, fortunately, is said to be doing well. Though the real controversy thrust upon this future paparazzi princess is not because of her dramatic delivery, but the unusual moniker she's been so graciously "blessed" with. North West.

 OMG, people are gonna be sooo pissed, LOL!

While it isn't quite what we were expecting (no "K" name?) and it's already managed a universal eye roll, you guys, it could have been so much worse. In honor of baby North West and her, uhm, unique name, I have compiled a list of my favorite crazy celebrity baby names sure to make you want to dropkick their parents in their perfectly primped faces. Seriously, WTF were they thinking?!

Gina's Favorite Deliciously Demented Celebrity Baby Names Of All Time

1. Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (boy)
Parents: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Apparently, this name stems from a song lyric by the band, Grandaddy. ‘He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot'. If Jason Lee is a music buff, not only could this kid's name have been way more epic (I mean out of the billions of songs out there, really?), it could've come from a lyric that doesn't describe him as simple and dumb. Thanks, dad! You douche.

2 . Audio Science Clayton (boy)
Parents: Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton

W...TF. Is this a college course or a kid? Here's what Sossamon, best known for her role opposite Heath Ledger in "A Knight's Tale", had to say about her son's awkward name.  

"We wanted a word not a name, so my boyfriend read through the dictionary three or four times. We were going to call him Science, but thought it might get shortened to Sci, as in Simon." 

...I prefer Simon.

3. Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa (girl)
Dweezil Zappa (boy)
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa (boy)
Moon Unit Zappa (girl)
Parents: Frank Zappa and Gail Zappa

And he reasons as only Frank Zappa would. If it weren't for the fact that he's friggin' legendary, I personally, wouldn't be so forgiving of the name "Diva Thin Muffin". Not that the late, great Frank Zappa would care because Frank Zappa doesn't have to care about jack sh** because he's Frank-F***in'-Zappa.
 
"I knew that they were going to be unique anyway because of certain other attributes, so why not have a name that goes with it. They all like their names and the kids at school do too. They don’t make fun of them; in fact, most of them are jealous of their names. You know, it always amazes me when someone who is in my age group, or even younger, asks me a question like why did you name your children that. It’s a reactionary kind of question. Why the f*ck not name your kids something like that? They’re having a good time. Besides that, if they ever wanted to change their names they can do it. It only costs about $15." 

4. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence (girl)
Parents: Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson

When I caught wind that the lovely Uma Thurman boarded the crazy baby name train, I shook my head in disappointment. Uma, you're better than this! Individually, I think these names are quite beautiful but it's like she didn't think she was going to have anymore kids and so she threw in every name she ever liked EVER in case she wouldn't get to use them later. Well, thanks to Thurman's other spawnling, Maya, that's kind of exactly what happened.

“Maya came up with the best excuse, [which] was that I probably wouldn’t get to have any more children, so I just put every name that I liked into [the baby's].” 

...And swish, point 1 to Gina.

5. Fifi Trixibelle (girl)
Peaches Honeyblossom (girl)
Little Pixie (girl)
Parents: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates

I just... I can't even...

The Best (or worst) of the Rest

• Rainbow Aurora- Holly Madison/Pasquale Rotella
• Amadeus Benedict Edley Luis- Lilly Kressenberg/Boris Becker (You're being obnoxious. Stop it.)
• Camera- Arthur Ashe/Jeanne Moutoussamy-Ashe
• Seven Sirius- Erykah Badu/Andre 3000
• Kal-el- Nicolas Cage/Alice Kim
• Moroccan Scott & Monroe- Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon (Those two together... still weird for me)
• Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily- Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates
• Hud & Spec Wildhorse- John Cougar Mellencamp/Elaine Irwin
• Buddy Bear Maurice, Petal Blossom, Poppy Honey & Daisy Boo- Jamie Oliver/Jools Oliver (Are you f***in' kidding me?)
• Zuma Nesta Rock- Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale
• Princess Tiaamii- Katie Price/Peter Andre
• Pirate- Jonathan Davis/former porn star Deven
• Banjo Patrick- Rachel Griffiths/Andrew Taylor (Why are we naming our kids after objects?!)
• Sparrow James Midnight- Nicole Richie/Joel Madden
• Bronx Mowgli- Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz
• Ocean, Sonnet & True- Forest Whitaker/Keisha Nash Whitaker (Barf)
  

To end this post with fuzzy feelings, here are some celebrity baby names I absolutely love. Way to go famous parents! xo

 Flynn Christopher Bloom 

Orlando Bloom/Miranda Kerr

 Frances Bean Cobain

Kurt Cobain/Courtney Love

 Luca Cruz Comrie

Hilary Duff/Mike Comrie

Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt 

Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt

 Harley Quinn Smith

Kevin Smith/Jennifer Schwalbach Smith

 Everly Tatum

Channing Tatum/Jenna Dewan-Tatum

*fuzzy feelings*

Sources:

Pilot Inspektor Named After Grandaddy Song 

Shannyn Sossamon Defends Unusual Baby Name 

Frank Zappa 1975 Interview 

Uma Thurman On Her Big, Crazy Baby Name 

Pregnancy Problems Illustrated By GIFS

There's no denying that pregnancy is a beautiful thing. As a woman, being able to use my body to create a new life to love and nurture is the utmost blessing. With that being said, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, frankly... being pregnant can really suck. Whether you're a first timer or a seasoned veteran, I'm sure we can all agree that there are some aspects of this magnificent part of life that we could really do without.

1. That moment when you sneeze, cough or laugh too hard and this happens.

2. That moment when you just ate but still you're like,

So, then you're like,

And hubby's like, "Can I have some?", and you're like,

3. When you're in the car and your hubby is driving all cray-cray and you're like,

4. And sometimes you get emotional for no reason like,

And hubby's lookin' at you all like,

5. That moment when a former pregster talks about how wonderful she felt and how she could eat whatever she wanted and not gain an ounce and never had any morning sickness ever, and all you want to do is,

 6. When you've dropped something on the floor and have to bend down to pick it up.

 7. When getting dressed means a clean pair of sweatpants and a shirt without holes in it and hubby's like, "You're going out like that?" 

8. When someone asks you, "Are you sure there's only one in there?"

9. When people feel it's their God given right to give me unwarranted advice.

10. When I wake up every morning

and then try to roll out of bed like,

 Whatever it is we're going through, mommies, we all know it's completely worth it and, as cliche' as it sounds, we'd do it all over again. We just have to remember to keep telling ourselves,

and girl, keep gestatin' like a boss!

Happy Father's Day

I could go on about the things my husband does that drive me absolutely nuts. He's stubborn. He gets angry very easily. He's incredibly absent minded. He has no patience... but see, even longer is the list of things I absolutely love about him. I love his brown eyes, his freckles, his smile, his voice. He's ambitious. He's dedicated. He's loyal and a hard worker. He's a good friend. He makes me laugh hysterically everyday. He gives the best hugs. When he tells stories, he gives such intimate detail, you feel like you're there. He's passionate. We have conversations in movie quotes. When there's an undeniably hot girl in our midst he'll be like, "She ain't all that." He knows me. He loves me... and over all things, he gave me what I've always wanted.

I chose to spend the rest of my life with him for many reasons but I only need one. We're a family. Happy Father's Day to my one and only. I will love you always.

First Haircut Fail

My kid needs a haircut. She looks like a shaggy, little pooch and it's getting to the point of ridiculousness. Here's the problem. How am I supposed to administer a haircut to a child who will not sit still for anything? I mean A-N-Y-THING. Virtually all tasks of hygienic nature leading up to this moment have been a battle. I have the scars. They're emotional but... I digress. Whether it's brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, clipping her nails, cleaning her ears, at one time in her short life I have had to hold her hostage to do any of it (wrapping my legs around her, so she couldn't escape). For some of these things that is still entirely necessary. Maybe it's the Irish in her, I don't know, but I have to scoff at the mere thought of my child sitting still when a sharp pair of scissors approaches her face. Pfffft. Yeah, okay.

OMG, Layla Raine, those bangs...

I have tried other alternatives! I have tried putting it in a ponytail and it looks ADORE-able but her first ponytail lasted all of 7 minutes and ever since then, when she sees me pull out the hair tie, she runs like Forrest Gump and I don't know why. The first ponytail was not a bad experience. There were no ouchies. It was 1-2-3, done. For the first 6 minutes she wasn't even aware of what I did. I have also tried clips and barrettes. I could have the stealthiest hand possible. She won't even know it's there but as soon as she sees herself in a mirror, that sucker is coming out. "Sorry, mom. I simply do not care that you've been dreaming of the day you'd be able to do your precious baby girl's hair in pigtails since you were wearing them yourself nor do I care that you can no longer see my eyes."

I attempted to cut her bangs in her sleep last night. I had this whole covert operation planned out. It was brilliant. I waited and waited... and waited for her to finally konk out cold. I grabbed my scissors, wet my hairbrush and was ready for action. I tip-toed all ninja-like into her room and there she was lying face up. PERFECT! This would be easy. With a light, steady hand I went to portion out a section of hair. My finger touched her face and BOOM, mini-sleep freak out. Her arms did that thing where they flail aimlessly and they don't know where they're going, just whatever is happening make it stop. Mission aborted. 

 So, much for that.

So, I guess I can just add this to the list of "Things I Can't Do Until She's 30 and Knows What's Good For Her."

Terrible Two's!

There seems to be a recurring theme around my house lately and it heavily involves the word "no" and the phrase, "Layla Raine, you're driving me crazy!" Yes, the terrible twos are in full swing and I can't say that I'm thrilled. What happened to my sweet girl?! You know, the one who didn't run around wreaking havoc? (Immobility, I'm sure, being the only reason.) But even the year leading up to this one, I feel like she at least headed my warnings. (I think.) Alas, she is long gone. She was trampled by this new kid who climbs and jumps from high places, gets a kick out of electrical sockets, draws on the walls, throws things only to exclaim, "Oh no!", refuses naps and sleep like never before, takes the top off of her sippy cup, plays bath time with the dog's bowl, shrieks in public because it's funny and, conveniently for her, has selective hearing. 

They said this would happen. I didn't listen. Not my baby. Oh, yes, my baby indeed.

The face of innocence. Not.

For some unknown reason, she seems to listen more to her father than me. That I don't understand. He's the softy! I've unintentionally taken the roll of disciplinarian in the house. I administer the time-outs (that she now puts herself in). I've taken methods from "Super Nanny" and have tried to apply them to my everyday life. I've Pinterested supposedly effective discipline methods. Yet when she hears the bellow of daddy's, "No!" or "Layla Raine!" She immediately stops whatever dastardly deed she's in the middle of. However, when she hears my voice, which mind you carries just as much weight as daddy's, she either continues to do whatever she's doing, or runs in the other direction. Thanks, Pinterest! Womp, womp.  

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Lately, I feel like every day is just another day in which I must keep my child from killing herself. I know, I know.

Surely there are plenty of mommy's that feel the same though, right? Anyone? ...Hello? Okay, just me?

Regardless of her current dare devil status, I love every reckless piece of her. She has a personality! Something I'm really beginning to see now that I didn't when she was a "baby". It's pretty cool to watch. In addition to being mommy's little sadist, here are 5 personality traits I have seen her develop.

1. Humor: This kid loves to laugh and make you laugh.
2. Compassion: More recently she's been willingly "giving love" to those she's close with and sometimes to new friends! Hugs, kisses, pats on the back. They're all wonderful.

3. Determination: If she wants something, she'll find a way to get it by any means necessary.
4. Independence: Whatever it is, she wants to do it herself. Let her figure it out and eventually she will.
5. Skillfulness: I've noticed she's quick to learn. She's an observer. She will watch and repeat. At the ripe old age of 2 and 2 months she can count to 12, brush her hair and teeth, and repeat all the dialogue from every "Yo Gabba Gabba" episode in existence. Of course her language skills are still a work in progress. I can understand her but to someone who doesn't know her, she might as well be speaking Japanese. ...Well, I mean except to a Japanese person... then she's speaking Crazy. 

She is both my terrible toddler and my sweet pumpkin pie and I know she won't always be this way. I'm sure when she's able to communicate more effectively we'll have a mutual respect and understanding for each other... Stop laughing.

Here's to new adventures!

 

"I Don't Want to Forget."

I recently read a blogger's blog and in that blog I found the reason she started blogging. She simply didn't want to forget. I'm not really sure why I decided, "Today I'm going to start a blog." but if I have this thing for no other reason than to look back and reminisce, I'd say it was a good decision.

I've tried keeping a journal. I've said to myself that I'd make a commitment of documenting my children's lives with pen and paper. A friend of mine even gifted me with an adorable Hello Kitty journal to do just that. I did well for a while. I would set aside a time every couple weeks or so and update the little book on everything new that Layla was doing. I would sometimes include pictures. Well... I mean, there's two pictures in there. (Yay, for small accomplishments!) The last entry I made was on Layla's first Thanksgiving in 2011. She was 7 months old. She's now two. Needless to say the journal took a backseat and is now collecting dust, along with her scrapbook.

Oh, the scrapbook. I was a regular enthusiast about that one. Pinterest is a mother. It get's you into a frenzy about all these fantastic, beautiful, unreal ideas (like creating the perfect scrapbook) and you go out, you get all the materials, you spend a small fortune at Michael's and then it comes time to actually DO it and womp, womp. It was meant to be Layla's baby book. I had every intention of documenting every stage of my pregnancy. Every craving, every emotional outburst, the belly shots. Then when she popped out, every gurgle, every coo, every time this child took a dump it was supposed to be going into this scrapbook. Well, the last entry made was Halloween of 2010. I was 3 months pregnant. That went well!

I did eventually make the child a baby book before her 2nd birthday. Figured I should get it done before baby #2 and I did with plenty of time to spare. Not bad for a professional procrastinator. I made it on Shutterfly and it takes you on the journey of her first year. Yes, the whole year and even includes a couple of extras like her favorite foods, pictures of all the people who held her when she first came home, and pictures on every page! Yeah, I really went all out. Go me! Also, it looks much better than my pathetic excuse for a scrapbook.

Perhaps if this journal is on the interwebs, I'll be much more likely to update. I guess we'll find out! Until next time, maybe, I leave you with this.

You're welcome.